HOW TO WRITE YOUR ELOPEMENT VOWS
Of all the words spoken at an elopement, your vows are the ones you'll remember most. They're also the part that makes many couples nervous. You might be wonderful at telling your partner how you feel over a cup of tea, but writing it down, and then saying it out loud beside a mountain lake, feels very different.
The good news is that eloping takes most of the pressure away. There's no audience of a hundred guests, no microphone stand and no strict timings. It's just the two of you, me, and the view. Here's how I help couples write vows that sound exactly like them.
Where Your Vows Sit in the Ceremony
Knowing the shape of the ceremony makes writing your vows much easier. A typical elopement ceremony with me opens with my opening speech, which tells a little of your love story. Then come any readings and your commitments to each other, followed by the exchange of rings, usually with personalised words you repeat after me. Your vows and a closing speech lead into your first kiss.
When Penny and James eloped in Llanberis, for example, Penny shared her first reading and commitments to James, and then James did the same for Penny, before the rings were exchanged. Every ceremony is built around the couple, so the order can flex, but your vows always have their own moment.
Shared Script, Personal Vows
Your ceremony script and your vows are two different things. As your celebrant, I write the script, and not one ceremony script is the same. Every one is started from scratch. You can co-create it with me, or let me write it and keep it secret until your ceremony. I talk through both options in how to simply elope.
Your vows, though, are yours. Some couples write them completely privately and hear each other's for the first time on the day. Others like to agree a rough length and tone together, so neither of you is reading a single line while the other reads a full page.
What to Include
There's no formula, but most vows I hear that really land have three simple ingredients. A memory, something specific that only the two of you would recognise. A truth about your partner, what they've brought into your life or taught you. And a promise, which can be big and lifelong or small and wonderfully practical. "I promise to always save you the last biscuit" sits perfectly well next to "I promise to stand beside you through everything."
Try to talk to your partner rather than about them. "You make me braver" is so much more powerful than "She makes me braver" when you're looking someone in the eye.
If You're Stuck for Words
Blank page nerves happen to almost everyone. If you're stuck, try answering a few simple prompts on your phone, without worrying how they sound. When did you first know? What's something they do that nobody else notices? What are you most looking forward to?
You'll be surprised how quickly a few honest answers become the bones of your vows. Then it's just a matter of joining them together in your own voice. If you're co-creating your script with me, the conversations we have about your love story for the opening speech often spark ideas for your vows too.
And if either of you grew up speaking another language, Welsh included, a line or two in that language can be the most moving part of the whole ceremony.
How Long Should Elopement Vows Be?
Shorter than you think. A minute or so each is plenty. Without a crowd to project to, vows feel more intimate and more like a conversation, and that's exactly the point. If you've written more, read it out loud to yourself and see what you'd miss if you cut it. Whatever you'd miss stays.
It's also worth writing your vows a few weeks before the day, then leaving them alone for a while. Coming back to them with fresh eyes makes editing far easier than a late night rewrite the evening before.
Reading Them on the Day
On the day, you won't have to worry about holding a crumpled piece of paper in the wind. Your vows can be read from my ceremony folder, which also carries the DJI mic that records our voices for your video. While you're reading your opening speeches and vows to each other, I slide out of frame and take pictures, so the camera captures your faces rather than the back of my head.
If you get emotional, that's absolutely fine. Take a breath, look up, and carry on when you're ready. There's no rush, and nobody watching except the person who loves you most.
Keeping Your Words Forever
Your words don't disappear once the ceremony ends. Your gift bag includes a presentation box with your ceremony script and certification, and the whole ceremony is recorded, so you can hear each other's vows again whenever you like. You can find more about what's included, and how the ceremony is filmed, in the FAQs on my elopement packages page.
If you ever want to speak new vows years from now, Twilight Ceremonies offers sunset renewals of vows, and my guide on how to plan a vow renewal in North Wales explains how that works. For now, though, start with a blank page and one memory. You can read more about me and the way I craft ceremonies, but the most important words of the day will always be the ones you write yourselves.